about
I will never forget the first day that I saw Jeff Dunham's first DVD "Arguing With Myself." This is one of the best bits of comedy that I had ever seen. Walter stood out to me the most because we all have a "Walter" in our families or we know someone like this. I fell in love with Walter and Jeff Dunham's other characters. So I decided to make this fanlisting.
About Walter from JeffDunham.com.
"Walter... a nice man? Dosen't look like it. Happy with life and those around him? Probably not! Almost scary? Almost. Funny? As hell. Walter is curmudgeon. He's opinionated, sarcastic, and he's got a mind of his own. And don't think for a moment that he cares about his popularity..."
"Any idiot that would want to sit in a thearte and listen to me talk deserves to lose big bucks on a ticket. Stupid pin-heads." - Walter
walter's quotes
Walter: How long've you been married?
Jeff Dunham: Fifteen years.
Walter: You'll see.
Jeff Dunham: See what?
Walter: Remember when you said, "'Til death do us part"?
Jeff Dunham: Yeah.
Walter: Later you'll realize you were actually setting a goal.
Jeff Dunham: You know, you don't have to do this.
Walter: Yeah, I could get a real job.
Jeff Dunham: [chuckles] What would you do.
Walter: I wanna be a greeter at Wal-Mart.
[audience laughs]
Walter: What the hell's so funny?
Jeff Dunham: At Wal-Mart, what would be your opening line?
Walter: Oh.
[clears throat]
Walter: Welcome to Wal-Mart, get your shit and get out!
[audience laughs]
Walter: Have a nice day.
Jeff Dunham: Walter, what exactly is marriage to you?
Walter: It's like drinking a slurpy.
Jeff Dunham: A slurpy.
Walter: First couple of sips, it's like "Boy this is really good! I'm glad I did this!" Then you keep drinking, it goes right to your head, and you go "Ow, Ow, Ooooow! What the hell was I thinking? Someone kill me please!"
Jeff Dunham: It eventually stops hurting.
Walter: Yeah, and then you're stupid enough to take another freakin' sip!
Walter: My wife and I heard that coffee's good for your sex life.
Jeff Dunham: Coffee?
Walter: Yeah.
Jeff Dunham: Is it?
Walter: No. It kept me awake through the whole damn thing! I actually had to participate. Doctor said it's bad for my heart, too.
Jeff Dunham: All the caffeine?
Walter: No, seeing my wife naked.
Jeff Dunham: That's awful.
Walter: Oh, you've seen her, too?
Jeff Dunham: So, is coffee good for the sex life or not?
Walter: I don't know. But, they're never gonna let us back into that Starbucks again.
Got any Walter quotes you think that I should add? Email me them.